Leadership is often associated with confidence, authority and the ability to make difficult decisions. But one of the clearest signs of mature leadership is knowing how to admit when you are wrong.
Two of the hardest words for anyone in authority to say are also among the most powerful: “I’m sorry.”
Admitting a mistake can feel like a loss of authority, particularly for leaders who are expected to appear confident and in control. But accountability does not weaken leadership. It gives it credibility.
A sincere apology demonstrates self-awareness. It shows that a leader recognises what happened, understands their role in it and is willing to change.
The problem arises when leaders replace accountability with explanations. Circumstances, employees, advisers or difficult business conditions may explain why something went wrong, but an explanation is not the same as accepting responsibility.
A meaningful apology should contain three things: acknowledgement, accountability and action.
Saying “I was wrong” or “I handled that badly” can sometimes demonstrate more leadership than a lengthy explanation designed to justify a poor decision.
Examples from the corporate world show the value of direct accountability. PagerDuty CEO Jennifer Tejada apologised after criticism over the company’s communication surrounding layoffs, while former Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi acknowledged that he was “plain wrong” after describing the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi as a “mistake.”
Former Uber CEO Travis Kalanick also acknowledged after a controversial confrontation with a driver that he needed help becoming a better leader.
Such admissions matter because leaders set the emotional tone of their organisations. When leaders refuse to admit mistakes, employees may become afraid to challenge decisions or report problems. But when leaders acknowledge errors and welcome honest feedback, organisations can become more open to learning.
Still, an apology means little if the behaviour does not change.
A meaningful apology should produce evidence: better communication, improved processes, greater consultation, repaired relationships, different decisions or acceptance of consequences.
The real test of an apology is therefore not the words themselves, but what happens afterwards.
Every leader should occasionally ask themselves one difficult question:
What apology am I avoiding?
