In many Nigerian homes, sibling entitlement is the unspoken tradition. You grew up together, sharing food, clothes, and gossip. But now, one urgent ₦5k request ignored, and suddenly, you’re “stingy.”
If you’re the first to “make it” or just the most “responsible” child, your siblings may expect you to always show up, financially, emotionally, or even magically. But when the support turns into draining entitlement, how do you set boundaries without tearing your family apart?
1. Understand Where the Entitlement Started
Often, the dynamic begins early. Maybe you got the scholarship or a steady job first. Maybe your parents gave you extra responsibilities. Their demands may come from expectation, not malice, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay.
2. Set Boundaries, Not Bitterness
Saying “no” doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re prioritizing your peace and financial health. You’re not a savings app. A simple, kind response like “I love you, but I can’t keep sending money weekly” goes a long way.
3. Support Growth, Not Dependency
Instead of cash handouts, offer help that empowers:
- Recommend skills to learn
- Share job leads
- Fund small business ideas with accountability
Don’t pour into a basket with holes.
4. Have the Hard Conversations
Avoiding honest talks builds resentment. Pull your sibling aside or call a family meeting. Express how the pressure affects you. They may not even realize they’re crossing a line until you speak up.
5. Protect Your Energy
You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re constantly drained, you’re no good to anyone, not your family, not your future, and not yourself. Rest. Save. Grow. You owe that to yourself.
